Sometimes We All Need Help.

I have to admit that the last few days has been very difficult for me and my family. Our oldest son at fifteen wants the freedom of adulthood with none of the responsibilities that go with it. Or at least that is the way it seems to me at times. He has different thoughts and emotions about it. I know the reality is different from what my thoughts and emotions tell me but it is not easy to swim against the riptides of thoughts and emotions. And my inability to do what it takes consistently to deal with this in a good way is driving me a little crazy. OK a lot crazy. I have a temper and it has shown it's self more than is good for all of us. I am feeling the gap between my knowledge and my ability to do what I know. One minute I know what to do and do it. The next minute I blow up and make things worse. Shame and blame are spending a lot of time with anger and frustration in my mind/body. My Sufi soul laughs. It is an old story that anyone who has or has had teenagers understands I am sure. Well I opened up my email and found the following posts from http://www.tricycle.com/

I know that the Sufi Path has been the best gift Allah/Alot (God/Goddess) has given me on this Earth. Only the love of my wife comes close. And I could not be as good to her or know how good she is to me if I did not have the teachings and guidance of the Sufi Path. The Sufi's say Allah is speaking to us all the time especially when we are in need, we just have to listen. Reading the emails from tricycle and seeing how they are medicine for my delusions is very appreciated. Thank you Goddess. We fall asleep so often and so easily when difficulties arise and it often takes a lot to wake us up, especially when we do not know we are asleep.
Just thought I would share this with you. Perhaps some of you my benefit from reading these posts as well

Before you read the posts here is a definition of Dukkah from another web site that will come in handy for some of you. It comes from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca1/dukkha.html Click on the links like "birth" and "aging" to get more information.

Dukkha is Our Best Teacher Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha."

And now the posts.

Dukkha is our best teacher.

It will not be persuaded by any pleading of misery to let go of us. If we may say to a human teacher, I don't feel well...., the teacher may reply, "I am very sorry, but if you want to go home, then you must go. If we say to dukkha, "Look, I don't feel well.... I want to go home," dukkha says, "That's fine, but I am coming along." There is no way to say goodbye to it unless and until we have transcended our reactions. This means that we have looked dukkha squarely in the eye and see it for what it is: a universal characteristic of existence and nothing else. The reason we are fooled is that because this life contains so many pleasant occasions and sense contacts, we think if we could just keep this pleasantness going dukkha would never come again. We try over and over again to make this happen, until in the end we finally see that the pleasantness cannot continue because the law of impermanence intervenes.... So we continue our search for something new, because everybody else is doing it too. - Ayya Khema, When the Iron Eagle Flies from Everyday Mind, a Tricycle book edited by Jean Smith

Our Worst Enemy is Delusion.

Shantideva characterizes the hold our delusions have over us as follows: "Although my enemies of hatred, attachment and so forth have neither weapons, legs nor arms, still they harm and torture me and treat me like a slave." According to the dharma our worst enemy is delusion. This refers to any mental factor that disturbs and harms our peaceful mind. If we wish to be free of all suffering we must be able to identify the various delusions and understand how they harm us. Generally we all try to be aware of our external enemies but we pay scant heed to the inner enemies infecting our own mind. If we do not recognize the delusions and see how they harm us, how can we overcome our suffering? Buddha identified the six root delusions that poison our mind as following: (1) attachment, (2) anger, (3) pride, (4) ignorance, (5) deluded doubt and (6) wrong views. - Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Meaningful to Behold from Everyday Mind, a Tricycle booked edited by Jean Smith

As a final gift here is some medicine and a gift from Rumi.

I have to admit that the last few days has been very difficult for me and my family. Our oldest son at fifteen wants the freedom of adulthood with none of the responsibilities that go with it. Or at least that is the way it seems to me at times. He has different thoughts and emotions about it. I know the reality is different from what my thoughts and emotions tell me but it is not easy to swim against the riptides of thoughts and emotions. And my inability to do what it takes consistently to deal with this in a good way is driving me a little crazy. OK a lot crazy. I have a temper and it has shown it's self more than is good for all of us. I am feeling the gap between my knowledge and my ability to do what I know. One minute I know what to do and do it. The next minute I blow up and make things worse. Shame and blame are spending a lot of time with anger and frustration in my mind/body. My Sufi soul laughs. It is an old story that anyone who has or has had teenagers understands I am sure. Well I opened up my email and found the following posts from http://www.tricycle.com/


I know that the Sufi Path has been the best gift Allah/Allto (God/Goddess) has given me on this Earth. Only the love of my wife comes close. And I could not be as good to her or know how good she is to me if I did not have the teachings and guidance of the Sufi Path. The Sufi's say Allah is speaking to us all the time especially when we are in need, we just have to listen. Reading the emails from tricycle and seeing how they are medicine for my delusions is very appreciated. Thank you Goddess. We fall asleep so often and so easily when difficulties arise and it often takes a lot to wake us up, especially when we do not know we are asleep.


Just thought I would share this with you. Perhaps some of you my benefit from reading these posts as well

Before you read the posts here is a definition of Dukkah from another web site that will come in handy for some of you. It comes from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca1/dukkha.html Click on the links like "birth" and "aging" to get more information.


Dukkha is Our Best Teacher Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha."



Dukkha is our best teacher. It will not be persuaded by any pleading of misery to let go of us. If we may say to a human teacher, I don't feel well...., the teacher may reply, "I am very sorry, but if you want to go home, then you must go. If we say to dukkha, "Look, I don't feel well.... I want to go home," dukkha says, "That's fine, but I am coming along." There is no way to say goodbye to it unless and until we have transcended our reactions. This means that we have looked dukkha squarely in the eye and see it for what it is: a universal characteristic of existence and nothing else. The reason we are fooled is that because this life contains so many pleasant occasions and sense contacts, we think if we could just keep this pleasantness going dukkha would never come again. We try over and over again to make this happen, until in the end we finally see that the pleasantness cannot continue because the law of impermanence intervenes.... So we continue our search for something new, because everybody else is doing it too. - Ayya Khema, When the Iron Eagle Flies from Everyday Mind, a Tricycle book edited by Jean Smith


Our Worst Enemy is Delusionhttp:


Shantideva characterizes the hold our delusions have over us as follows: "Although my enemies of hatred, attachment and so forth have neither weapons, legs nor arms, still they harm and torture me and treat me like a slave." According to the dharma our worst enemy is delusion. This refers to any mental factor that disturbs and harms our peaceful mind. If we wish to be free of all suffering we must be able to identify the various delusions and understand how they harm us. Generally we all try to be aware of our external enemies but we pay scant heed to the inner enemies infecting our own mind. If we do not recognize the delusions and see how they harm us, how can we overcome our suffering? Buddha identified the six root delusions that poison our mind as following: (1) attachment, (2) anger, (3) pride, (4) ignorance, (5) deluded doubt and (6) wrong views.
- Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Meaningful to Behold from Everyday Mind, a Tricycle booked edited by Jean Smith


As a final gift here is some medicine and a gift from Rumi.


"Cry out in your weakness"

A dragon was pulling a bear into its horrible mouth

A courageous man went and rescued the bear.
There are such helpers in the world, who rush to save
anyone who cries out. Like Mercy itself,
they run toward the screaming.

And they can't be bought off.
If you were to ask one of those, "Why did you come
so quickly?" he or she would say, "Because I heard
your helplessness."
Where lowland is,
that's where water goes. All medicine wants
is pain to cure.
And don't just ask for one mercy.
Let them flood in. Let the sky open under your feet.
Take the cotton out of your ears, the cotton
of consolations, so you can hear the sphere-music.

Push the hair out of your eyes.
Blow the phlegm from your nose,
and from your brain.

Let the wind breeze through.
Leave no residue in yourself from that bilious fever.
Take the cure for impotence,
that your manhood may shoot forth,
and a hundred new beings come of your coming.

Tear the bindings from around the foot
of your soul, and let it race around the track
in front of the crowd. Loosen the knot of greed
so tight on your neck. Accept your new good luck.

Give your weakness
to one who helps.

Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.

Just a little beginning whimper
and she's there.

God created the child, that is, your wanting,
so that it might cry out, so that milk might come.

Cry out! Don't be stolid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of loving flow into you.

The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us.

Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit.

Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you
back toward disease and death.

-- Mathnawi II: 1932-60
Version by Coleman Barks
"The Essential Rumi"
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995

^ ^ ^ ^ ^
EVERY SWEET SONG IS MINE

You are my Sultan, you are my Lord;
You are my heart, my soul, and the faith of mine.

By your breath I am alive;
What is one life? – you are a hundred lives of mine.

Without you, bread cannot feed a man;
You are the water and the bread of mine.

By your touch, poison becomes medicine;
You are the cure and the sweet nectar of mine.

You are the garden, the grass, and the heavens;
You are the cypress, and the laughing jasmine of mine.

I have entered that supreme silence.
Please, you go on . . .
My mouth may open, words may come out,
But you are every sweet song of mine.

-- Ghazal (Ode) 3365
Version by Jonathan Star
"A Garden Beyond Paradise: The Mystical Poetry of Rumi"
Bantam Books, 1992

Winter Journey

In the old times before so called civilization covered us up in it's protective and restrictive forts and cages this time of year in the Northern Hemispheres was a time to huddle together and try to survive the cold dark winter. In those days there were always a very few people among the many tribes and clans who used this time to reflect on their lives and the lives of their people. They were the wise people and the shamans and the leaders who used this cold dark time to learn lessons from their past and to seek understanding for their future and the future of their people.

I say this is still a good time of year to look at your life with fresh eyes. It is a good time to stand in front of a mirror both in real time and symbolically. Try letting go of your comfortable understanding of your self and your world. Dare to stand naked and fearless and alone with yourself. Look deeply, and for a long time, over many days, and see what you see and than look for what you do not want to see. And then look again and yet again. There are dangers and rewards to be found and dealt with when you do this. It is a good journey to take before, during, and after the winter solstice.

I try to do more than just write this stuff. I try to do as much of what I write as possible. Believe me, it is not easy. I find it more often than not, very uncomfortable to really face myself. I usually see and feel a whole lot of fear, laziness and hypocrisy. Than I find myself laughing and still laughing I take a fresh look. Try it for yourself.