I sing this song as my heart dances and peace moves through
me. I am happy to be alive. I do not expect to live a lot more but who knows, I
could be here for decades yet. I assure you that I am fine with being here and
I am fine with not being here one day. I have lived my life in ways that honor
what I consider important and meaningful. That is not to say I have not fucked
up a lot because I surely have. But on average I am more pleased than
embarrassed when I look back over the path I have made for myself. I deeply
appreciate that I am still healthy enough to be able to enjoy the fun and
mystery of consciousness. I am not what I was and feel it. I am weakened from
the cancer and the treatments I went through and get sick and tired more often than before the cancer and that is a drag. But I am at peace with my self and my situation and appreciate what I have and do not dwell on what I have lost. I am older now and do not need or want to be younger. I am content to be who and what I am I practice some forms of chi kung and yoga and other disciplines to regain and
maintain my health and will continue to do so, inshAllah.. I have lived the
life I wanted to live when I was young and still do now, so I have no regrets
beyond the usual ones.
My most profound and beloved teachers have all consistently
stressed the importance of being a good student, a good lover/friend, and a good
warrior. A good student can learn from anything even a sign on the road. A bad
student learns very little even from the best teachers. A good lover/friend on this
planet is rarer and more sought after than diamonds or gold. He/she is never without other lovers/friends and is always held close
to their hearts and is, I am sure, especially loved by the ultimate Beloved.
A good warrior embraces and honors his life, he does the same with his death. He dances and sings joyfully with life and all that it brings and is not afraid of or intimidated by the process of his death. Once he has accepted his death he can live life fearlessly
and be able and willing to greet his death with love and honor when it calls for him to come. So trusting in the wisdom and insights of my teachers and friends
I have tried and continue to try to be a good student, a good lover/friend, and a good
warrior in all my relationships with the various people and situations I
encounter.
I have no need to grasp at life in desperation rather I
embrace it as a lover and a friend. It is good to say hello to lovers and
friends and it is good to say goodbye. I have, I am happy to say, a tribe of
friends I respect and love and who respect and love me. I do not feel alone in
the zoo and I do not feel alone in the Great Mystery. I often feel and
experience an invisible active presence that seems very supportive and loving
in its relationship with me. I affectionately and in deference to the women and
girls I know and love refer to it as the Goddess. I have said what I have
wanted to say, life is good and I am happy I am here. So I sing my songs and
dance my dances until I cannot or I am no more. Yanta Yo! inshAllah!
