Seven Reasons Why It's Better Not To Hate Them
Even if they are really horrible, greedy, corrupt, and completely deserve it. . .


By Diana Winston

I KNOW HOW EASY IT IS to sit around during this election year and smolder in rage. I have years of personal experience reading newspapers or listening to news while the urge to violence hijacks my mind. Getting wind of the latest degradation to decades-old environmental legislation or another slash to health care and education is sure to get me steaming. I have entertained countless fantasies of moving to another country (and that's the tame end of things). But in spite of my anger, rage, and disbelief, I have a commitment to try not to hate, or at least to try to temper my hate with a little bit of compassion and understanding. Why? Well, I think it's the sane way to be—and my dharma practice demands it.
To this end, I've concocted a set of reasons that I use to remind myself not to hate our government. These reasons are by no means meant to disempower me or prevent me from acting. What they do instead is provide an antidote to my bitterness. They serve as practice instruction to see how wide I can open my heart. They provide a Buddhist twist to counteract my habitual tendencies so that I can ultimately respond to perceived injustice from a healthier place.
1. HATRED HURTS.
The Buddha taught that hatred is a form of suffering. He said that holding hatred in the mind and heart is like tightly clutching a hot coal in your hand-guess who suffers? You can experience the burning quality of hatred by examining your own mind. What does your mind feel like when it is filled with love? Most likely you feel connection, spaciousness, openness. What does it feel like when your mind is full of hate? Probably you feel disconnection, pain, and separation, all accompanied by some good old self-righteousness. Dharma practice is about the development and cultivation of skillful mind states-no matter what the situation. This is not to say difficult mind states don't arise unbidden, but which ones do you want to hang on to? What kind of mind do you want?
2. NO ONE IS ETERNALLY OR INHERENTLY ANYTHING.
Buddhist teachings remind us there is no essential "self' that lasts or is inherent. This person we are hating is not always this way, has not always been this way, and may act very differently at other times. And within each of us lie the seeds of change. When I can remember this, my clinging to blame can soften. I am reminded of the Buddhist tale of Angulimala, the murderer who wore a garland of 999 fingers around his neck to commemorate the brutal death of each of his victims. When the Buddha saw that the murderer's mother was to be his thousandth victim, he intervened and, with a single teaching, converted this evil criminal into a fully enlightened being, albeit one who still had to accept the karmic consequences of his earlier actions. It's an interesting teaching tale of the potential for change within each of us.
3. WE'RE THAT WAY. TOO.
No one corners the market on greed, hatred, or delusion. These mental states are inside all of us. When I'm in the middle of a heated argument, I sometimes point out to myself that I'm filled with anger, just like the person I'm mad at. We may not have the degree of anger we see reflected in the violence in the world. We may not have the power to do damage on the level of a world leader. But for anyone who has ever sat down to observe the mind, it's clear how plentiful the three poisons are in there. We all might have the capacity to do anything, given the right circumstances. When dire circumstances in Rwanda in the 1990s turned neighbors and dear friends into murderous enemies and rapists, one expert from Human Rights Watch stated: "This behavior lies just under the surface of any of us." Remember the famous Milgram experiments at Yale in the 1960s, where subjects administered harmful electric shocks to actors posing as cosubjects, simply because aurhority figures instructed them to do so? It could be us. In fact, it is us.
4. WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE WHO IS RIGHT.
This is a hard one to stomach, but it's true. How can we possibly know? We can hold long-cherished ideals, bur the truth is, since we are not omniscient, some of what we believe may be wrong. Review your own political history and ask yourself whether your beliefs have changed over the years. Many of my currently pacifist Buddhist friends were once part of militant revolutionary organizations using violent means for social change. According to basic Buddhism, one of the greatest forms of suffering is attachment to views. No matter what the view, if we are attached, we will suffer. The dharma invites us to rest in not-knowing, to tolerate the discomfort of a mind with no firm ground. It asks us for a more flexible mind that might be open to other views. From this place, can we soften our critique of the thing we hate? Sometimes when I'm really mad I say to myself, "Diana, maybe in some way they're right. You just don't know for sure." And it's true, I don't. This does not mean I can't develop discriminating wisdom that allows me to keep seeing clearly, and acting on my insights. I just try not to hold on to my views so tightly, especially the views that make me see others as enemies.
5. YOU CAN'T FIGHT KARMA.
Buddhism teaches that acts that cause suffering to oneself or others are rooted in an ignorance of karma. According to teachings of karma, unwholesome actions lead to suffering in this life or the next. Even if you don't believe in rebirth, it's a safe bet that ignoring karmic laws will take its toll and lead to suffering in this life, not to mention the next. From a Buddhist perspective, the act of hating can only bring the hater unhappy results in the long run. So hating is just not a good idea, karmically speaking.
Also remember that if your enemies are acting in unskillful ways, they will probably suffer quite a bit down the road. The tremendous compassion His Holiness the Dalai Lama feels toward the Chinese is striking. His compassion comes from understanding karma, knowing that the suffering the Chinese military has caused the Tibetan people in these fifty years of cultural genocide has already had and will continue to have pretty scary results for the Chinese. Rather than filling with rage and revenge, his heart goes out to them.
6. THROUGH UNDERSTANDING WILL COME COMPASSION.
One reason we hate is that we don't see the full force of the other's situation. When I can't feel compassion whether I'm fighting with my partner or listening to a news item on the radio—I can ask myself, "What is it I don't understand I" The more thoroughly we can understand the source of pain—causing actions, the more we personalize the supposed evildoer rather than being caught in projection and assumption, which generally breed more misunderstanding and hatred.
When you see someone acting in a way that's upsetting you, stop for a moment and imagine being that person. Imagine the streams of causes and conditions that led to this very moment and that particular behavior. Bring to mind the person's early history and training, the levels of fear and ignorance inside them. Remind yourself of the strucrural violence under which this person grew upracism, classism, unexamined privilege. Bring to mind an entire culture that has likely validated the action.
Start small—say, with your anger at a coworker—and expand the inquiry to political figures and ultimately social systems. Keep in mind that the point is not to minimize their actions nor to excuse them, bur to foster an investigation—based compassion that softens hatred.
7. HATRED WILL NEVER CEASE WITH HATRED.
As the Buddha taught in the Dhammapada, hatred will never cease with hatred, but only through nonhatred will hatred cease. We will reap what we sow. The Buddha uncompromisingly advocated the development of skillful mind states such as love, compassion, and generosity as true antidotes to their unskillful opposites. My own experience in years of meditation has shown me that whatever qualities I practice, those qualities increase. If I want to be more generous, I need to practice generosity. If I spend a lot of time on obsessive worrying, more worries are sure to come. The Buddha likened this phenomenon to filling a bucket a few drops at a time—one day we look down and the bucket is full. What do we want in our bucket?
Thich Nhat Hanh's term "being peace" speaks to this principle. It invites us to link ends and means in our activism (and in whatever we do in our lives). What would a protest look like that didn't replicate the structures it was fighting against? A. J. Muste, the longtime radical activist, said, "There is no way to peace, peace is the way." If we want to have a vision of a better world—free from hate, violence, and destruction—where else do we start except with ourselves?
SOUND DAUNTING? Perhaps, bur take this list as a mental experiment to practice and reflect on. Study the results in your life and activism and you'll see that these explorations won't result in inaction. We may fear that if we're too good-hearted, we will be ignored or taken advantage of, and the political crisis will continue unchallenged. But there is a big difference between loving our enemies and letting them get away with their wrongdoing. We can hold these principles and practices in mind and still act on behalf of justice, peace, equity, environmental sanity. What would the world be like if we acted from a place of compassion, open-heartedness, and a willingness to maybe kind of sort oflove the enemy? It's an amazing thought.....
Diana Winston is the founder of the Buddhist Alliance for Social Engagement (BASE), theformer associate director of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship, a writer, activist, dharma teacher through Spirit Rock Meditation Center, and the author of Wide Awake: A Buddhist Guide for Teens.

This man does good work. Click here to visit his site.

Gregory J. Nicosia, Ph.D., B.C.F.E. is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Advanced Diagnostics, P.C., Pittsburgh's premiere center for the thought energy based psychotherapeutic treatment of trauma and remediation of cognitive dysfunction.

Dr. Nicosia has helped to explore and elaborate the newest psychotherapies in the last 25 years including biofeedback and behavioral medicine, EMDR, and most recently thought field therapy. . Dr. Nicosia is the originator of TEST® Dx and ThoughtWorks® and has trained thousands of healthcare professionals throughout the U.S. in the use of TFT, and in his more recently developed Thought Energy Synchronization Therapy diagnostic and treatment procedures that have significantly expanded the range of effective application of energy psychology. He has authored a score of professional papers and articles, including publications on TFT and EMDR and was nominated as Pittsburgh Man of the Year in Science and Medicine for 1997.

Dr. Nicosia is a Member of the American Psychological Association, a Fellow of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and the American College of Forensic Examiners, and a Member of the Board of Directors of the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology.

Geshe Chongtu Rinpoche.

I very much liked Geshe Chongtu Rinpoche. I pasted some information and a link about him from his website can be found by clicking the title of this entry above.
Geshe Chongtul Rinpoche has been teaching Bön religion in North America over the last decade. Each year the number of students increases because of a growing interest in meditation and in Bön religion.

Rinpoche believes that the interest in Bön – particularly the Bön Dzogchen meditation system – reflects a growing desire for peace. The Bön ancient teachings offers a path to positive change in the life of an individual who is seeking peace, tranquility, and compassion in today’s world.

Many westerners may feel a natural connection with Tibetans, Tibetan culture, and the ancient practice of Bön meditation because it applies equally well to people who have been born in many various times and places.

Through the serious study and practice of this system, one can achieve peace within oneself which will naturally extend to ones’ relationship with other humans, as well as the animal and entire natural world.

Chongtul Rinpoche established Bön Shen Ling in 2006 to preserve and share ancient Tibetan teachings from an unbroken lineage of great teachers. Also known as Tog Den Won Po, Rinpoche believes that these unique teachings will have great relevance for everyone.

Geshe Chongtul Rinpoche, Spiritual Director
Jeffrey Granett, MD, FACC, President and Treasurer

From March 4th thru March 7, 2010 My and I attended a workshop on Death and Dying at Carnegie Mellon University Campus sponsored by the Olmo Ling Bon Buddhist Center and the Institute to Enhance Palliative Care, University of Pittsburgh the School of Social Work, University of Pittsburgh and the C.G. Jung Institute of Pittsburgh

About the Workshop
For thousands of years, the Tibetan spiritual traditions have cultivated practices to offer spiritual support to the dying and to prepare for a peaceful and conscious death. This workshop and training program brings together Tibetan lamas Geshe Chongtul Rinpoche and Tempa Dukte Lama, Zen priest and medical anthropologist Roshi Joan Halifax, PhD., and guest speaker Susan Hunt, MD.

The workshop faculty presented compassionate care from a spiritual perspective and taught practices to support the dying and to prepare for a peaceful and conscious death. The Bon Buddhist teachings on death and dying invited us to explore the meaning of death in our lives and to develop the strength to keep our heart and mind free from fear and judgment.

It was one of the most beautiful and powerful experiences of my life. My and I are deeply thankful and appreciative of the time we spent at the workshop. It was full of love and knowledge that left us feeling more comfortable when it comes to facing our own deaths.

Facing Fear


How can we meditate when we're too scared to get on the cushion? Lama Tsony gives us advice on practicing with fear.

By Lama Tsony
Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of fear during my meditation practice. It seems to come from nowhere, and it either focuses on a specific attachment or it manifests as a more existential, nameless sort of thing. How can I deal with this?

Fear is what happens when reality collides with our personal fiction. Our practice is based on expectations—expectations about who we are, why we are practicing, and what our practice should be. As our hope disintegrates, it may be replaced by fear. Our characteristics, personality, all of our beautiful plans and ideas are like snowflakes about to fall on the hot stone of our meditation practice.

Maybe you’ve poked through boredom and have had a first taste of spaciousness. Until your experience has become stable, the fear remains that your dreams, your life, and your base could fall apart. The more you contemplate space, the more you are aware of the dissolution of everything you have assumed to be real, lasting, and reliable—including your motivation and your practice. Now it all feels transitory and unreliable. This crisis, rooted in dissolution, translates as fear.

This is a seminal moment in our practice. Each time it manifests, each time we are aware of fear, we have a choice: we can acknowledge our problem and work with it, or we can run away from it and seek refuge elsewhere: distractions, pharmaceuticals, weekend feel-good-about-yourself workshops, whatever. We are free to refuse the disappointment and the dissolution. We don’t have to put ourselves back into the situation where the foundation of our being is shaken by the experience of impermanence and emptiness.

But if we decide to continue, if we’re convinced of the sanity of the Four Noble Truths and decide to take refuge in the dharma that the Buddha taught, we need to be courageous. We can choose to take refuge in the brilliant sanity of enlightenment, the Buddha; trust the process of the path, the Dharma; and rely on the experience of those who guide us along the path, the Sangha. We can choose to explore our mind, learn about its problem areas and hidden treasures, but it won’t be comfortable. The guidance of a spiritual friend or teacher is crucial at this stage of our practice.

At the same time, we can be nice to ourselves, accept ourselves as we are and let go of what we are pretending to be. Our crisis is a normal phase. We all enter the spiritual path as ego-based beings, and as such we have ego-based hopes and fears. Practice is virtually never what we expect. We feel like we’ve got it all wrong, thinking, “The more I meditate, the worse I become.” My teacher, Gendun Rinpoche, always responded to this by saying, “When you see your own shortcomings, it’s the dawn of qualities. If you only see your qualities, there’s a problem.”

It’s true that if we continue to try to create our personal nirvana through our practice, we’re going to suffer even more. If we use the practice tools that develop intelligence and clarity with a confused, selfish motivation, reality is bound to collide with our fiction. This is where practice is supposed to bring us. This is the proof that the dharma works. It’s the end of our confused, fictive world, and the dawning of truth.

When fear arises within our meditation, we apply an antidote. Recognizing what is happening at each instant as mind, we remain in the present. It is important to remember that patterns don’t have to repeat themselves. Through remaining in the present, we can let go of the past and the future—the headquarters of our fears. We recognize and then we let go, whether coming back to the focal point of our meditation—posture, breath, visualization—or nonconceptual space. Through motivation, honesty, and confidence you can practice with your fears and go beyond in them in a way you never thought possible.

Lama Tsony is head of the monastic community at the Dhagpo Kundreul Ling hermitage in Auvergne, France. He travels throughout the U.S. and Europe, teaching and leading meditation retreats.

One Hand Near One Hand Far Healing Technique.

One Hand Near One Hand Far is a very powerful healing technique developed by a chi kung master named Dr Zia Gang Sha. You can find more about him by clicking the tiltle of this entry and it will take you there. I posted this information a couple of years ago but I think it is time to do it again.

Start by being aware of the lower dan tien. Move your awareness from lower dan tien to the laboring Palaces. If you have a place in your body that hurts or needs help place one of your hands, we will call this hand the near hand, about 4 to 7 inches away from the painful area. Point your first two fingers of that hand at the painful area. Imagine that energy is flowing from your lower dan tien to the Laboring Palace of the near hand. Then guide the chi from laboring palace out through the two pointing fingers into the area in your body being treated. This is One hand Near. Now take the other hand which we will call the far hand, and place it about 12 to 20 inches from your lower dan tien. Aim your palm or Laboring Palace of the far hand at the lower dan tien. You can aim the far hand at any part of the body and get good results. The lower dan tien is however, one of the best places. Notice what happens. Sooner or later, usually within a few minutes, you will notice a reduction or elimination of pain or discomfort.

To treat other people just aim your near hand's fingers at the area that hurts and aim your far hand's palm or Laboring Palace at another area of their body that does not hurt but could use some strength. Remember the near hand should be about 4 to 7 inches away from the person's pain and the far hand should be about 12 to 20 inches away from another part of their body that is not in pain.It could take a few minutes so be patient. Sometimes it is very quick other times it is slower but it usually will produce results.

If you treat another person ask them to let you know what they are experiencing as you do the treatment. I tell people I treat, that we are a team and to keep me informed as to what they are experiencing so I can adjust the treatment. It is not uncommon for pain to disappear in one place and appear in another. If this happens just adjust the near hand accordingly.