I want to tell you about Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit. It is not exactly Uncle Remus's Briar Fox and Brer Rabbit. You can find the original story at the following link.http://www.otmfan.com/html/brertar.htm
The Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit I want to tell you about are within all of us. Our conditioned and unconscious mind or ego is our Brer Fox. It is made up of many things including our false beliefs and understandings, or lack of understanding, relative to any difficult situation we encounter in our lives. Will Rogers use to say, "It is not what you know that can hurt you. It is what you know that ain't so."
The Brer Foxes within us are always preparing traps for us. I call these traps Tar Babies. A tar baby is any thought or emotion or situation that we encounter that gets us angry or hurts our feeling or makes us lose it in one form or another. It is any situation, thought or emotion that gets us stuck and makes us feel shame and regret later for what we said or did to ourselves or others.
Tar Babies are difficult and sometimes dangerous and even deadly. They are easy to get into and very hard to get out of once you touch them. But you can often get out of them if you remember, to stop and let go. Stop acting out and start to regulate your breathing and relax your muscles. And as one of my teachers use to say to us, "Let go of that tar baby" or "Don't touch that tar baby."
So my friend and fellow brer rabbit, if you see a tar baby, resist the desire to touch him. If you have touched one, let go ASAP. The more you struggle with him, the more you will regret it later. Just let go. You have heard it before and you will hear it again Regulate your breathing and relax your muscles. And remember you are not the thoughts and emotions that are running through your body/mind. In fact you are not even this body/mind. After you are more settled and breathing good, look at the tar baby in a different way. React to it in a different way. The tar will then sometimes turn to water. This is called. " Turning poison into medicine."
We are so Innocent. We came to this body and this planet with the best of intentions. But because of so many things, we forgot and are now confused and full of contradictory thoughts and emotions.We see somebody or encounter a situation or find ourselves thinking toxic thoughts or immersed in toxic emotions. We try to do the right thing. We get frustrated when things do not go the way we would like.
We lash out at others. Or we attack ourselves or we do both at the same time. Things get sticky.
I want to do a brief review before I continue.
In a previous blog , "If You Want Help, You must Be The Help", I wrote the following;
"In my years of healing work I have found there are a few things that can make almost any situation a little better. The first one is to understand how to breath properly. For those who have read through this blog, I know you have heard this before, but are you doing it? For the new people make sure you are belly breathing. That is make sure your lower abdomen is going out as you breathe in and in as you breath out. It is that simple. If you are not doing that, start doing that. And keep belly breathing. The link below has more information on belly breathing. When a person is in a stressful situation they will usually forget to belly breath and the results will always make things worse. When you are stressed out check your breathing pattern are you belly breathing? If not and before you do anything you do not have to do immediately, return to belly breathing. Belly breathe as consciously as you can all through the stressful problems. If you want to help others who are stressed by one thing or another, teach them about belly breathing.
Next, I help people understand the importance of noticing any unnecessary muscle tension in their bodies. I urge them to learn how to move their awareness through their bodies and notice and release any unnecessary muscle tension especially in the head neck and shoulders areas. Notice your own body. How is your breathing? Move through your body, from head to feet. Notice any unnecessary muscle tension. Release it when you do. How does it feel? See what I mean? If you master the art and skill of belly breathing and notice and release muscle tension especially in time of stress, your life will be a lot less stressful and painful, all other things being equal, then the people around you no matter what the situation. "
The third thing you need to know that can make your life better is what my last blog and this one is about.
You need to understand that you are a beautiful radiating energy Being who occupies a human body. You are immersed in an ocean of thoughts, emotions and sensation but you are not those thoughts, emotions, and sensations.
And just as important, neither are other people just their bodies or their thoughts, emotions. and sensations. Try to remember that your interactions are mostly based on ignorance and confusion and should not be taken to seriously.
We are all in the same difficult situation. We are trapped in our false beliefs about who we are and who other people are. And we think that we understand what is going on most of the time, when we do not.
It is so easy to forget, when we find ourselves face to face with a difficult situations. It is so easy to just react unconsciously and spontaneously. But please try to remember to play a new game.
The next time you find yourself in a highly charged situation, STOP your reactions as soon as you can. And Let Go Of the Tar Baby!!! Try to remember, "It is not what you know that will hurt you. It is what you know that ain't so." And Let Go Of The Tar Baby. Before you do anything else, regulate your breathing and relax your muscles. Then take a fresh look at what is happening.
Try to understand something new about the situation you are confronting. Perhaps you might ask yourself or the other people questions before you make a statement. Seek to understand before you demand to be understood.
We need to shift paradigms. We need to try something very different then what we have done before. The old ways of relating have caused to much pain.
It would be wonderful to let go of our beliefs that we are only physical beings and that we are our thoughts and emotions. Instead let us try to see ourselves as radiating energy Beings who have chosen to manifest bodies and come to this planet to have an adventure. One of our goals in coming here might be to remember what we are not. And then remember where we came from. What a fun game that would be. Why not play?
The next time you are caught in a unpleasant social interaction try to catch yourself being caught up and in the mist of turbulent thoughts and emotions. As soon as you catch yourself doing it, smile. And play this other game. Play the " I am a Radiating Being not a body/mind. "
Relate to any experience you find yourself caught in at the moment from your new perspective and see what happens.
So we have two new games to play. The Tar Baby game, and the Radiating Energy Being game. Both games involve stopping yourself in difficult situations and letting go of your thoughts and emotions and regulating your breathing and relaxing your muscle tension. Then chose one of the new games or both at once and return to the difficult situation.
I play both games a lot. I need to play them more. I say to myself when I find myself immersed in tar, "Let go. Don't touch that tar baby any more." Or "Damn, got tar all over me." And then I turn tar into water when I can, and play. Try it. You have nothing to lose but your tar.
Enough for now.
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